Sometimes in my mind, a witch comes to me. “Sooner than you think,” she croaks

A Charlie deluge

Got @playerprophet to do an edit-through of Ghostcrime for a revised edition and all her notes are like, “don't capitalize Crime” “don't capitalize Feelings Van”

*becoming normalcore* can you believe THIS is the quality of video I am getting for $14.99 a month I mean COME ON *posts screencap of a movie where a scary doll is killing people*

Love to make apps you can use while driving

One day they're gonna find out all the elementary particles are Go positions and all my psychoses will be vindicated

They waited to restore power until after I'd had my tap water instant coffee

Power's been out all day and I hope the province is going to reimburse me for all the tea lights I'm burning. They're the fucking BEESWAX ONES

MERCH Turtle!? Indeed, you can now buy branded goods:

https://streamlabs.com/mirthturtle/merch

Ruining Happy Hour by asking if instead of 25%-off mozza sticks I can have 1.33333333333x more

*watching a streamer play The Long Dark* SEARCH IT. SEARCH THE DESK

Not to be a downer but in ten years all the “I don't want to wear a mask” people are going to be “I don't want to grind my food through the microplastics sifter” people

The most obvious example of extraterrestrials infiltrating human corporations would have to be GlaxoSmithKline

Thinking of asking my cool modest friend if I can namedrop them in a conversation

*Felicity goes off the rails in the final season with a time-travel magic spell plotline* ME: damn, this is some compelling Felicity

FELICITY THEME: can you become... can you become... a new version of you? ME, AGE 12: hooooly shit, Felicity's in her underwear for a half-second

Students are moving back into town this weekend and the Red Bull car parked next door does not bode well

Most of my “vibe” I can trace back to one formative summer in Italy passively consuming huge amounts of overtly sexual electrodance

If the movie Premium Rush taught me anything about cycling, it's that I should be carrying a huge chain

NO, I am not “on the computer all day”. I am on SEVERAL computers all day

*control room operator throws down headset* Fuck! Why did we send a poet

Bitcoin guys would have been really into ivory back in the day

Some days I have to listen to House music for over two hours before I can make myself go to the grocery store